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"After listening to your program, I now understand how I can get in the way of myself and my own happiness.
I am glad to have common sense practices to refer to again and again.
I now understand what I was thinking and doing that got in the way of happiness."
- Melanie B.
"After listening to your program, I now understand how I can get in the way of myself and my own happiness.
I am glad to have common sense practices to refer to again and again.
I now understand what I was thinking and doing that got in the way of happiness."
- Melanie B.
What Gets in the Way of Happiness?
You can learn to be happy when you understand what perceptions and behaviors get in the way of happiness. So to start with, why are you unhappy? Here are some of the main reasons that cause unhappiness. Check all that apply.
1.__You suffer today because of a problem with one or many disappointments or losses. Your unrecognized or unacknowledged hurt and/or anger has become your armor. You face the day with reluctance to give another person a chance to be close to you. This is your unhealthy way of proving to yourself that you are unlovable or that there is no one out there for you.
2.__You suffer because you gave up on yourself. Life’s disappointments overwhelmed you. You have avoided working through your grief. You may glaze it over with alcohol or drugs, overeating, or being so busy that you have no time to reflect on your life and make some necessary changes.
3.__You have a great need to control others or the situation. You spend a great amount of time angry, anxious, or depressed, when others don’t agree with you and/or want to do things “ your way” most of the time.
4.__You need to be happy with yourself, before you can give to others.
5.__You can’t accept what has gone wrong in personal or work relationships.
6.__When you have been wronged, you can’t seem to forgive, and let go of your hurt and anger.
7.__You feel jinxed. Life has been unfair to you. You have withdrawn from most interactions as a protection.
8.__You want only the good parts of a relationship and become bored with day to day life.
9.__You overuse the need to “look good.” Looking good to the outside world has become more important than being a good person. You have created a false identity for yourself and now that identity is crumbling because you lost your job, made bad investments, or got in trouble with the law.
10.__You expect your expectations to be met nearly all the time. You are unhappy when you expectations are not met.
11.__You are impatient more often than not. Your impatience causes chronic irritability.
12.__You have become numb. You have lost your sensitivity and feeling toward others from chronic hurt and disappointment.
Now that you have identified what is causing chronic unhappiness, I hope you will be ready to learn how to be happy by resolving the issues that have caused anger, irritability, anxiety, and chronic grief and depression. Open your heart and soul to the idea that peace and wisdom come with your willingness to gain insights into what you are doing or saying that is not working.
H - Heart, Honesty, Humility and Hope
Heart: How open versus closed is your heart to your own emotional, psychological and spiritual growth? You will rate this and begin to look at all that has occurred in your life that has changed your openness to yourself, other people in your life and the world.
Honesty: How honest can you be with yourself about your personal strengths and shortcomings? Can you assess your strengths and weaknesses accurately?
Humility: With humility added to honesty, you can review what is both good and less desirable about yourself without falling apart and without the need to elevate yourself above others. It is about developing a healthy self-assessment, neither too humble nor too proud.
Hope: Cultivating hope gives you the energy you need to keep tackling the aspects of your perspective and behavior that need to change for the benefit of your relationships.
A - Attitude of Adaptability, Ability to resolve losses, especially Anger
Adaptability: Rigid perspectives are at the root of all problems in relationships, organizations, and between countries of the world. You must learn how to develop a flexible mind, root out negative self talk, and develop more positive self talk to adapt.
Ability to resolve losses, especially Anger: You must also resolve your losses-and especially the anger associated with unresolved grief issues-or your perspective can become clogged with hurt, jealousy, anger, or hate. Over the long term, these unresolved issues can lead to serious health issues, both mentally and physically.
P - Purposeful Principled Life
Principles: Your life has little meaning without goals driven by principles. You will need evaluate your principles and make decisions about which ones support a healthy perspective for working with people and which are just rationalizations of behavior that might lack integrity.
P - People Patience
Patience: How much of a people person are you? Are you the same, better, or worse than others? Have you ever cultivated the trait of patience and see how patience supports positive interpersonal communications? In what areas of your life are you intolerant?
T - Trust
Trust: Do you trust the orderliness built into our world? Do you trust yourself, and do you trust others? What goes into your decision making about trust? What has clogged your world in the areas of trust?
I - Intentions and Integrity
Intentions: Do you cultivate your strength toward good intentions more often than not? We all start with good intentions, but what is it that influences you to make bad decisions for yourself and in relation to others? How do you stop yourself from acting on destructive impulses that can put you and others in harm's way? Intention also deals with sensitivity through right speech. What you say and how you say it is critical to developing a habit of good intentions.
T - Thankfulness
Thankfulness: How often do you give time to thankfulness? Are you grateful? How difficult would it be to find something to be grateful about every day? What negative traits affect your ability to be grateful? Envy? Arrogance?
U - Unconditional love and positive regard, Understanding
Unconditional Love: Have you loved anyone when there is no payback for you? How would you go about cultivating unconditional love and positive regard for others?
Understanding: Are you generous with understanding or judgmental?
D - Devotion and Determination
Devotion: What are you devoted to outside of yourself? What is important to you? What is worth standing up for in spite of opposition?
Determination: Never give up on yourself.
E - Empathy and Enthusiam
Empathy: What is empathy and how do you practice empathy? How does empathy relate to your energy?
1.__You suffer today because of a problem with one or many disappointments or losses. Your unrecognized or unacknowledged hurt and/or anger has become your armor. You face the day with reluctance to give another person a chance to be close to you. This is your unhealthy way of proving to yourself that you are unlovable or that there is no one out there for you.
2.__You suffer because you gave up on yourself. Life’s disappointments overwhelmed you. You have avoided working through your grief. You may glaze it over with alcohol or drugs, overeating, or being so busy that you have no time to reflect on your life and make some necessary changes.
3.__You have a great need to control others or the situation. You spend a great amount of time angry, anxious, or depressed, when others don’t agree with you and/or want to do things “ your way” most of the time.
4.__You need to be happy with yourself, before you can give to others.
5.__You can’t accept what has gone wrong in personal or work relationships.
6.__When you have been wronged, you can’t seem to forgive, and let go of your hurt and anger.
7.__You feel jinxed. Life has been unfair to you. You have withdrawn from most interactions as a protection.
8.__You want only the good parts of a relationship and become bored with day to day life.
9.__You overuse the need to “look good.” Looking good to the outside world has become more important than being a good person. You have created a false identity for yourself and now that identity is crumbling because you lost your job, made bad investments, or got in trouble with the law.
10.__You expect your expectations to be met nearly all the time. You are unhappy when you expectations are not met.
11.__You are impatient more often than not. Your impatience causes chronic irritability.
12.__You have become numb. You have lost your sensitivity and feeling toward others from chronic hurt and disappointment.
Now that you have identified what is causing chronic unhappiness, I hope you will be ready to learn how to be happy by resolving the issues that have caused anger, irritability, anxiety, and chronic grief and depression. Open your heart and soul to the idea that peace and wisdom come with your willingness to gain insights into what you are doing or saying that is not working.
Below is a brief overview of each of the key Happtitude™ concepts.
Please feel free to e-mail or phone me with questions about the program.
I look forward to working with you!
Please feel free to e-mail or phone me with questions about the program.
I look forward to working with you!
H - Heart, Honesty, Humility and Hope
Heart: How open versus closed is your heart to your own emotional, psychological and spiritual growth? You will rate this and begin to look at all that has occurred in your life that has changed your openness to yourself, other people in your life and the world.
Honesty: How honest can you be with yourself about your personal strengths and shortcomings? Can you assess your strengths and weaknesses accurately?
Humility: With humility added to honesty, you can review what is both good and less desirable about yourself without falling apart and without the need to elevate yourself above others. It is about developing a healthy self-assessment, neither too humble nor too proud.
Hope: Cultivating hope gives you the energy you need to keep tackling the aspects of your perspective and behavior that need to change for the benefit of your relationships.
A - Attitude of Adaptability, Ability to resolve losses, especially Anger
Adaptability: Rigid perspectives are at the root of all problems in relationships, organizations, and between countries of the world. You must learn how to develop a flexible mind, root out negative self talk, and develop more positive self talk to adapt.
Ability to resolve losses, especially Anger: You must also resolve your losses-and especially the anger associated with unresolved grief issues-or your perspective can become clogged with hurt, jealousy, anger, or hate. Over the long term, these unresolved issues can lead to serious health issues, both mentally and physically.
P - Purposeful Principled Life
Principles: Your life has little meaning without goals driven by principles. You will need evaluate your principles and make decisions about which ones support a healthy perspective for working with people and which are just rationalizations of behavior that might lack integrity.
P - People Patience
Patience: How much of a people person are you? Are you the same, better, or worse than others? Have you ever cultivated the trait of patience and see how patience supports positive interpersonal communications? In what areas of your life are you intolerant?
T - Trust
Trust: Do you trust the orderliness built into our world? Do you trust yourself, and do you trust others? What goes into your decision making about trust? What has clogged your world in the areas of trust?
I - Intentions and Integrity
Intentions: Do you cultivate your strength toward good intentions more often than not? We all start with good intentions, but what is it that influences you to make bad decisions for yourself and in relation to others? How do you stop yourself from acting on destructive impulses that can put you and others in harm's way? Intention also deals with sensitivity through right speech. What you say and how you say it is critical to developing a habit of good intentions.
T - Thankfulness
Thankfulness: How often do you give time to thankfulness? Are you grateful? How difficult would it be to find something to be grateful about every day? What negative traits affect your ability to be grateful? Envy? Arrogance?
U - Unconditional love and positive regard, Understanding
Unconditional Love: Have you loved anyone when there is no payback for you? How would you go about cultivating unconditional love and positive regard for others?
Understanding: Are you generous with understanding or judgmental?
D - Devotion and Determination
Devotion: What are you devoted to outside of yourself? What is important to you? What is worth standing up for in spite of opposition?
Determination: Never give up on yourself.
E - Empathy and Enthusiam
Empathy: What is empathy and how do you practice empathy? How does empathy relate to your energy?
Learn and practice The Happtitude™ Method for a happy and productive life!